This is part two of a series of posts wherein I try to explore the meaning of one’s identity and answer the question “Who am I?”. By the third and final post, I’m hoping to finally give an answer.
I’m a little concerned however, because I find myself no closer to the answer than I was back in 2023 when I published that first post. Let’s break down where we’re at so far.
In post 1, I wanted to strip away the idea of identity being tied to what you do. It felt hollow to me. To just identify with the work I do (however much I enjoy it). Even claiming my interests make up the source of one’s identity didn’t feel right. After all, if my hobbies change am I suddenly a different person?
In post 1.5, I came up with something like a formula to determine the source of this elusive definition of identity. While I still stand by the framework, it’s done little to provide a meaningful or satisfying answer to my original question. It comes up all the time within myself as constant as my morning coffee. And yet! I feel the answer exists deep inside. I feel it whirling in my chest during every long car ride. Every midnight walk. Words just feel so inadequate to capture the sheer depth of the answer to “Who are you, really?”. How could you wrap all of your lived experiences into simple words? All of the love in your heart? I wish I could just pull that warm feeling out of my chest and say “This is who I am!”
So where does that leave me now. Frankly I don’t know. It feels like I’m brute forcing an answer to something that will probably come with time. Maybe I just want to skip a few steps. Maybe knowing yourself so fully and truly and deeply makes it easier to be the most authentic version of yourself. Or maybe being authentic and knowing yourself fully, truly and deeply are two different things. And maybe if identity truly is fluid and ever-changing the way we know it is then maybe knowing yourself fully, truly and deeply is an impossible task.
All this to say, I don’t have an answer yet. But I will be back to write the third and final entry to this series and I just hope we will all be satisfied with the answer.
Scripted Journal 