Probably my first big setback this year. The news came as a shock to me, and it’s my fault, because I was so invested in going to Japan that I hadn’t planned for doing anything else.
The thing is, I actually found out a couple of days ago. But the disappointment hadn’t registered in me yet. At first it was just anger. I was angry that I failed and I didn’t want to deal with the repercussions of failure. I threw myself into my work over the last two days as a result. Frantically coding, writing and creating – hoping beyond reasonable thought that I’d stumble upon the creation of something great enough to replace the blank this failure left. And here I am at the end of the second day filled with nothing but work, frustrated that I’ve seemingly made no progress. The failure that I’ve tried to escape having just caught up with me.
It just sucks. I won’t let this stop me from moving forward, but at the same time I need to try and not let obstacles like these cause me to overwork myself for no reason. I’m reminded of a line I wrote in a short story I posted here that says:
“Before you save the world, you’ll just have to see what you can accomplish tomorrow.”
Scripted Journal 